HH2 - 14.12.12 - Lowander

We had a bit of a setback in our house-hunting just over a month ago; we'd seen this house in June, and had really loved the possibilities it presented [it looked as if it hadn't been touched since it was built in the early 1980's, apart from someone giving the kitchen units & tiles a coat of paint enough years ago that it was rubbed off in lots of places - we could have replaced the kitchen and all the sanitary ware without guilt at ditching a perfectly good, but ugly, kitchen/bathroom].  Although it was built in the '80's, it had 'attractive' styling elements dating to earlier decades: open-tread stairs & plank banisters, and curly brick pillars, anyone?

We liked it enough to go back for a second viewing, when we sounded out the vendor about the price [it was on with a price band (oh, how we think those are stupid; vendor & viewer given widely varying ideas of the price)] - turns out they [it was two sisters selling the home one of the ladies had shared with their mother; full of memories] wouldn't accept anything near to the lower end of the range, and we'd only gone to view it because the details on RightMove only showed the cheaper price...

Which was a bit above what we could afford, but we'd been looking at more expensive properties [especially ones, like Lowander] that had been on the market a long time...  We knew from the photographs that it had been on at least a year (and learned from Velta that it was nearer two years), but hearing that they would only consider offers way above our budget really put a dampener on us.

That's where we made our mistake; in the attempts to "protect" ourselves [can't think of how to better phrase that, sorry] from the disappointment of losing out a place that we could see ourselves living in, we started to focus on the "down" sides: North-facing living room, too many trees around the garden, too close to the neighbouring house, questionable ownership of Leylandii, and very odd details told to us by Velta that didn't add up...

So, we decided to keep an eye on it, and if they ever decided to drop the price we would have a re-think.

Well, a few weeks later, they did drop the price and David spoke to another local agent who was really helpful [Gould & Harrison in Ashford] who'd offered to give us an opinion if we saw a place we liked.  G&H reckoned that it was worth up-to the lower end of the price band.

So we put in a "cheeky" offer - we'd expected that to be refused, but hoped they would enter into a dialogue with us so that we could come to a price we'd both be happy about.

And that's where we made our second mistake: we left it at that, in the hope they would become more realistic in their expectations.

What we should have done was offer a higher price - we still might not have got the place, but at least we would know that we'd tried everything.

We hummed and hahed for a couple of months and decided we did like it enough to put in another (higher) offer, and we're going to do so once we were back in England.  We also decided that we would go to above what G&H 'valued' it at.

Before phoning them, David looked at Hobbs Parker's website, and the house was under offer!

I felt as if I'd taken a blow to the stomach when he told me; huge regret at not having kept in better contact with the agent and/or the vendor, and at not putting in an offer sooner.  I've also been torturing myself with hoping that the sale falls through; it wouldn't be the first place we'd looked at that was "sold", and then was back on the market within months.  We've since gone back to the mortgage broker, and could have afforded more, so another thing to "beat myself up with".

How awful am I that I've been hoping that someone's dream home purchase falls through?

It's left me with very mixed feelings - perhaps that's the only house ever that will be perfect for us/it's not perfect and we had enough doubts to make us dither for months/it was good enough that we could make it lovely/am I greedy?/we didn't want to be ripped off (and the price they were asking certainly was ambitious - according to their own agent as well).  It's been going round and round in my head, but nothing changes the fact that the place is sold, so we can't have it anyway, even if it was our perfect home [doubts not withstanding].

It's taken until now (so at least a month; probably longer) for me to "let it go".  I know I have problems 'letting stuff go', so this has been a fantastic opportunity for me to learn that life lesson!

I would much rather have had a different chance to learn this lesson, but I think I'm on the way with that.  I'm sure that there will be another house out there that we'll love [and that was another of the doubts - wouldn't you want to live in a house that you had strong feelings for?  Rather than quite like and can see potential.  I fell in love with the house in France before even getting out of the car!], and may be even better with its possibilities, and this may even turn out to be a lucky escape!!

If I hadn't ended a relationship with a previous boyfriend [similar thoughts: if it's "meant to be", why am I so full of doubts?], I would never have met David, who I adore with my whole heart...

So, although I've happily [now!] let go of the lingering thoughts of Lowander, I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that we find a "perfect" forever home that I fall in love with.  And yes, I do believe in love at first sight when it comes to properties: I fell in love with the fireplace in Leander Road, and the whole of the house in France, so I know it can happen.

Here's wishing a very happy ownership to the people who have bought Lowander...

... and ourselves luck in finding a beautiful home [that's got possibilities to make it our dream home; not frightened of the work - did that in Brixton and France, and so appreciated the difference!]...

Fingers crossed for everyone.