Claire called by yesterday (she saw the house was open) to warn me before I went to see her parents: her mum has had a fall and is in hospital.
I can't remember if she said the fall caused an epilectic seizure or was as a result of one.
Sadly, it doesn't matter much either way...
They did a scan, and found that the chemo was working on the cancer that had spread to her lungs and spine, but she now had secondary spread to her head.
Apparently this was shielded when she had radiotherapy.
She's very unwell, and Claire doesn't think she will be coming home.
It makes me feel quite small (and fairly useless).
Here we are worrying about financing a holiday home project, and Denise is fighting for her life.
I offered what help I could - but what can I do? I'd be no use in the vines (lack of knowledge, rather than inability), and I suspect neighbours are already helping with the horse and chickens.
What I wanted to do was take away a bit of the pain (I have so little, now, but can remember being overwhelmed after dad died), but I don't know how to do that.
I wish I did.
Friday 30 May 2008
Redstart nest
I've discovered what the "rouge-queue" was doing upstairs: he's got a nest in one of the niches in the wall.
I think it's got babies in it...
But I didn't want to scare away the adults permanently by checking!
I think it's got babies in it...
But I didn't want to scare away the adults permanently by checking!
Thursday 29 May 2008
I'm going to put the house-related stuff on my other blog...
...And keep this one for the "random thoughts".
Flying menace!
I'm sure the neighbours would think I'm batty, if they could hear me.
And understand what I'm saying!
Periodic shouts of "Go out!", or just plain "OUT!" probably don't make much sense...
Until you know I've got an attack of swallows!!
I know they are just looking for a place to nest, but this really isn't that place!
Seems much kinder to yell at them now, than risk them starving if I have to leave and shut up the house before their offspring have fledged.
The "rouge-queue" upstairs got in by himself, so he can make his own way out, I'm guessing - there's enough openings (holes in windows & walls) up there that I'm happy to leave him.
Not sure about the great tit - but he saw me & got nervy, so I probably don't have to worry!
And understand what I'm saying!
Periodic shouts of "Go out!", or just plain "OUT!" probably don't make much sense...
Until you know I've got an attack of swallows!!
I know they are just looking for a place to nest, but this really isn't that place!
Seems much kinder to yell at them now, than risk them starving if I have to leave and shut up the house before their offspring have fledged.
The "rouge-queue" upstairs got in by himself, so he can make his own way out, I'm guessing - there's enough openings (holes in windows & walls) up there that I'm happy to leave him.
Not sure about the great tit - but he saw me & got nervy, so I probably don't have to worry!
Thursday 22 May 2008
What are you hiding?
There's a woman at the gym who is often having a shower at the same time as I am recovering from my swim.
She always arranges a towel so it completely covers the opening above the door.
It looks as though she is hiding...
Well, I reckon that using the swimming pool (like most of us she throws the costume over the door after discarding it) at the gym means it's unlikely that she's paranoid about anyone seeing her size (often a reason for avoiding the communal changing room, I'm told)...
And my view is a fairly common one: in the female changing rooms we've all got the same bits - some may be younger or older, saggier or more pert (I can remember what that looked like!), bigger or smaller...
But it's all the same kit!
Or is it?
The hiding has got me thinking...
I don't remotely think about other people's activities, if they're not making massive efforts to hide something (and I include lying in that).
[Unless it's exciting news from one of my friends, of course!]
What can she be hiding?
My best guess is before-op gender reassignment!
I don't have any kind of imagination ordinarily, but when I'm looking for the motive behind secretiveness or deception I can usually come up with half a dozen scenarios!
Now, does the lady behind the towel screen feel she's preserved her privacy?
Or does she realise she's opened herself up to much more scrutiny than she would have if she'd just got on with showering?
Hoodies:
We used to wear our hoods up as children after a particularly bad "mum" haircut - are these boys hiding bad hair?
A "mum" haircut is where your mum cuts your hair (obviously!).
A bad one is where either the child wriggled (this is always the mum's excuse), or the mum couldn't cut straight (remembering being a child, I know this is the correct reason!)...
So to even up the fringe (mums always do fringes!), you have to cut it shorter.
A particularly bad "trim" will involve several 'evening up' passes across the child's forehead.
Hence a desire to wear the hood up!
This child clearly is missing a hood...!
The child on the left can clearly keep still; the right hand one has only escaped the full "mum" haircut experience by a remarkable ability to argue!
Burkas:
I reckon it's safer if I don't go there, don't you?
She always arranges a towel so it completely covers the opening above the door.
It looks as though she is hiding...
Well, I reckon that using the swimming pool (like most of us she throws the costume over the door after discarding it) at the gym means it's unlikely that she's paranoid about anyone seeing her size (often a reason for avoiding the communal changing room, I'm told)...
And my view is a fairly common one: in the female changing rooms we've all got the same bits - some may be younger or older, saggier or more pert (I can remember what that looked like!), bigger or smaller...
But it's all the same kit!
Or is it?
The hiding has got me thinking...
I don't remotely think about other people's activities, if they're not making massive efforts to hide something (and I include lying in that).
[Unless it's exciting news from one of my friends, of course!]
What can she be hiding?
My best guess is before-op gender reassignment!
I don't have any kind of imagination ordinarily, but when I'm looking for the motive behind secretiveness or deception I can usually come up with half a dozen scenarios!
Now, does the lady behind the towel screen feel she's preserved her privacy?
Or does she realise she's opened herself up to much more scrutiny than she would have if she'd just got on with showering?
Hoodies:
We used to wear our hoods up as children after a particularly bad "mum" haircut - are these boys hiding bad hair?
A "mum" haircut is where your mum cuts your hair (obviously!).
A bad one is where either the child wriggled (this is always the mum's excuse), or the mum couldn't cut straight (remembering being a child, I know this is the correct reason!)...
So to even up the fringe (mums always do fringes!), you have to cut it shorter.
A particularly bad "trim" will involve several 'evening up' passes across the child's forehead.
Hence a desire to wear the hood up!
This child clearly is missing a hood...!
The child on the left can clearly keep still; the right hand one has only escaped the full "mum" haircut experience by a remarkable ability to argue!
Burkas:
I reckon it's safer if I don't go there, don't you?
Day 23
Today I am listening to excuses, sadly!
I think the bad sleep for the last week has been the final straw, and I am having a day off from exercising...
Feel guilty, but really believe that feeling tearful is a sign that I need to have a rest today.
I think the bad sleep for the last week has been the final straw, and I am having a day off from exercising...
Feel guilty, but really believe that feeling tearful is a sign that I need to have a rest today.
Tuesday 13 May 2008
Day 16
I'm tired & achy today.
On Friday (day 14), I had a burst of feeling like there was power in my swimming!
But yesterday (day 15), it was all hard work again...
And today I'm seriously not in the mood!
Which is why my mental Harvey Walden IV is screaming at me "no excuses".
Sometimes I don't listen to him, but this time around my desire to get fit outweighs (hah!) my desire to listen to excuses, so I'm off to the park for my walk...
Just as soon as I finish my tea!
On Friday (day 14), I had a burst of feeling like there was power in my swimming!
But yesterday (day 15), it was all hard work again...
And today I'm seriously not in the mood!
Which is why my mental Harvey Walden IV is screaming at me "no excuses".
Sometimes I don't listen to him, but this time around my desire to get fit outweighs (hah!) my desire to listen to excuses, so I'm off to the park for my walk...
Just as soon as I finish my tea!
Thursday 8 May 2008
Trabby
A slightly odd thing to have on the second floor of your hotel?
It's the Dorint Hotel at the Nürburgring in Germany, if you're interested!
So Boris won, then
No massive surprises that Boris took the vote when it came to second votes.
I'm not convinced, but am keeping an open mind...
I think the policy of banning drinking on public transport is a good start (can't believe that it isn't against the bye-laws, but don't care enough to start trying to find out - it doesn't affect me or anyone I know!).
It would be good if it was enforced!
That's the falling down point of most of the good policies that would improve quality of life for the majority of people.
Any new law will do nothing, if not enforced...
I'm not convinced, but am keeping an open mind...
I think the policy of banning drinking on public transport is a good start (can't believe that it isn't against the bye-laws, but don't care enough to start trying to find out - it doesn't affect me or anyone I know!).
It would be good if it was enforced!
That's the falling down point of most of the good policies that would improve quality of life for the majority of people.
Any new law will do nothing, if not enforced...
Day 12
I finally had a moment of feeling OK about exercising yesterday!
I was swimming, and for the first time, it didn't feel like a monster effort/just overcoming all the aches (the pain's gone now).
OK, so it didn't last, but it felt like a massive breakthrough!
Thank you!
I was swimming, and for the first time, it didn't feel like a monster effort/just overcoming all the aches (the pain's gone now).
OK, so it didn't last, but it felt like a massive breakthrough!
Thank you!
Thursday 1 May 2008
VoteMatch Results
Interesting, very interesting!
I'm going to go with the first choice, and probably the second choice thrown up by VoteMatch - that is a bit of a surprise, but as it's made me think about the process a lot more, it can't be a bad thing.
I'll be interested tomorrow to find out whether we've got Ken or Boris.
I'm going to go with the first choice, and probably the second choice thrown up by VoteMatch - that is a bit of a surprise, but as it's made me think about the process a lot more, it can't be a bad thing.
I'll be interested tomorrow to find out whether we've got Ken or Boris.
Can I use thunder as an excuse?
For not going out to take any exercise?
I might get struck by lightning...
Again!
Today's resolution: I'm going to stop listening to excuses for not taking exercise!
There's no chance at this stage I'll stop creating excuses, so let's get real
Oh, and for anyone who's interested, I've only been struck by lightning on a landline (twice, apparently!)...
It feels like someone really nasty has smacked you in the ear, you get to see a blue flash & go deaf for a while.
Well that's my experience!
Does that make me more likely to be safe if I go out in a thunderstorm or less?
Statistically, I know, that being hit by lightning previously has no influence over whether I get struck today...
But I'm human!
Am I more likely to be a victim if I go for a walk (self-indulgently trying to change my life)?
Or if I go to vote (playing my part in the democratic process, and thus earning the right to moan for the next four years if I don't like the result)?
Hmmmm!
I might get struck by lightning...
Again!
Today's resolution: I'm going to stop listening to excuses for not taking exercise!
There's no chance at this stage I'll stop creating excuses, so let's get real
Oh, and for anyone who's interested, I've only been struck by lightning on a landline (twice, apparently!)...
It feels like someone really nasty has smacked you in the ear, you get to see a blue flash & go deaf for a while.
Well that's my experience!
Does that make me more likely to be safe if I go out in a thunderstorm or less?
Statistically, I know, that being hit by lightning previously has no influence over whether I get struck today...
But I'm human!
Am I more likely to be a victim if I go for a walk (self-indulgently trying to change my life)?
Or if I go to vote (playing my part in the democratic process, and thus earning the right to moan for the next four years if I don't like the result)?
Hmmmm!
London Mayoral Election Day
[VERY] Unusually for me, I'm undecided about which candidate to support.
I think Ken has done a lot of good, but also I'm feeling echoes of the worst of the GLC days of cronyism and "special" interest groups benefitting to the exclusion of the vast majority of Council Tax payers...
I also believe that the policies and attitude of TfL reflect Ken's refusal to listen and unwillingness to take reasonable steps contra to doctrine.
As a (non-cycling) road user I wish that TfL would think about how hard they make it for people to get about London!
The brilliant idea of replacing the double yellow lines in Brixton (after 2 lanes of traffic from Stockwell merge with 2 lanes of traffic from Kennington) with car parking (so now 4 lanes of southbound traffic have to funnel into 1 lane within the space of a couple of hundred metres) seems to reflect the thought processes of TfL!
OK, so we now have a Red Route to facilitate arterial traffic to the south of the city centre.
But what good is that when half of it is car parking?
The response from TfL when I questioned this was that shopkeepers were losing business because of the Red Route - how is that any different than when there were double yellow lines?
As someone who has spent hours sitting on buses getting past the shops by The Beehive, I notice the difference between the occasional car double parked for a couple of minutes (usually picking up a fare from the pub/friend with shopping) and 2 stretches of legal parking!
It's made my bus journeys much slower if I travel anywhere near peak times (that includes from 3 o'clock when the children start coming out of school)...
And don't get me started on free travel for under-16s!
I thought we were trying to combat the obesity "epidemic" - how is letting the little porkers take the bus for free for 1, 2 or 3 stops helping them?
Sorry, rant over!
But that's why I'm not sure about Ken...
Boris - charming, but a jester?
And who wants a joker in charge of an already crowded city and its struggling public transport system...?
I'm not sure about Boris, either...
Brian - seeing the mess left in Brixton (when we read about primary school age children who don't attend school because they are too stoned on skunk, it doesn't seem unbelievable - especially when on the way in to work I've seen so many kids who seem unable to walk in a straight line and just launch themselves off the pavement without looking; who says cannabis doesn't kill?), I'm finding it hard to trust someone who left behind a policy of turning a blind eye to "soft" drugs.
So, probably not Brian either...
I'm guessing that a vote for any of the other candidates will only register as a protest vote (valuable, nonetheless), but that makes the second vote of crucial importance.
And if it gets to second votes (which sounds likely) it will be between Ken & Boris...
So I'm going to try out VoteMatch that I read about in Kate Egglestone's column in thelondonpaper yesterday...
Watch this space - not that I'm going to tell you who I'll vote for!
I'll just let you know how well I think the VoteMatch site works...
I think Ken has done a lot of good, but also I'm feeling echoes of the worst of the GLC days of cronyism and "special" interest groups benefitting to the exclusion of the vast majority of Council Tax payers...
I also believe that the policies and attitude of TfL reflect Ken's refusal to listen and unwillingness to take reasonable steps contra to doctrine.
As a (non-cycling) road user I wish that TfL would think about how hard they make it for people to get about London!
The brilliant idea of replacing the double yellow lines in Brixton (after 2 lanes of traffic from Stockwell merge with 2 lanes of traffic from Kennington) with car parking (so now 4 lanes of southbound traffic have to funnel into 1 lane within the space of a couple of hundred metres) seems to reflect the thought processes of TfL!
OK, so we now have a Red Route to facilitate arterial traffic to the south of the city centre.
But what good is that when half of it is car parking?
The response from TfL when I questioned this was that shopkeepers were losing business because of the Red Route - how is that any different than when there were double yellow lines?
As someone who has spent hours sitting on buses getting past the shops by The Beehive, I notice the difference between the occasional car double parked for a couple of minutes (usually picking up a fare from the pub/friend with shopping) and 2 stretches of legal parking!
It's made my bus journeys much slower if I travel anywhere near peak times (that includes from 3 o'clock when the children start coming out of school)...
And don't get me started on free travel for under-16s!
I thought we were trying to combat the obesity "epidemic" - how is letting the little porkers take the bus for free for 1, 2 or 3 stops helping them?
Sorry, rant over!
But that's why I'm not sure about Ken...
Boris - charming, but a jester?
And who wants a joker in charge of an already crowded city and its struggling public transport system...?
I'm not sure about Boris, either...
Brian - seeing the mess left in Brixton (when we read about primary school age children who don't attend school because they are too stoned on skunk, it doesn't seem unbelievable - especially when on the way in to work I've seen so many kids who seem unable to walk in a straight line and just launch themselves off the pavement without looking; who says cannabis doesn't kill?), I'm finding it hard to trust someone who left behind a policy of turning a blind eye to "soft" drugs.
So, probably not Brian either...
I'm guessing that a vote for any of the other candidates will only register as a protest vote (valuable, nonetheless), but that makes the second vote of crucial importance.
And if it gets to second votes (which sounds likely) it will be between Ken & Boris...
So I'm going to try out VoteMatch that I read about in Kate Egglestone's column in thelondonpaper yesterday...
Watch this space - not that I'm going to tell you who I'll vote for!
I'll just let you know how well I think the VoteMatch site works...
Day 9
(Of exercising)
I keep meaning to keep a record of how my re-introduction to exercise is going...
BUT after I've come home from the swimming pool, I can't muster the energy to re-boot the p.c. - it just ain't happening!
So, today I'm logging on before doing any exercise!
I should have listened to MJM (as always, her wisdom is bang on!) and not weighed myself for at least a month...
I've lost a pound!!
I think it's because I've felt so ravenous/needing-comfort-food/virtuous-so-I-can-have-a-treat that I've eaten a lot more food than normal (and that's before you factor in the chocolate...).
I'm hoping that I'm strengthening the muscles, and I'm choosing to believe that muscle is heavier than fat, and that means that I might have lost some of the blubber and toned up some of the underneath layer!
The pains at the front of my shins have gone (yay!), and not every length of the swimming pool feels like it could be my last, so I'm definitely seeing progress.
I know that I must be doing OK - I'm averaging 50 lengths of the pool in 30 minutes (1.25 km) - and I'm starting to feel some muscle in my quads, so I'm just keeping smiling through the tough bits...
And reminding myself that I didn't get overweight & unfit overnight, so the solution won't happen overnight either.
I'm doing this to get back to feeling energetic, and I know that that means feeling worn out until it starts to "work", so till then:
Keep on keeping on!
I keep meaning to keep a record of how my re-introduction to exercise is going...
BUT after I've come home from the swimming pool, I can't muster the energy to re-boot the p.c. - it just ain't happening!
So, today I'm logging on before doing any exercise!
I should have listened to MJM (as always, her wisdom is bang on!) and not weighed myself for at least a month...
I've lost a pound!!
I think it's because I've felt so ravenous/needing-comfort-food/virtuous-so-I-can-have-a-treat that I've eaten a lot more food than normal (and that's before you factor in the chocolate...).
I'm hoping that I'm strengthening the muscles, and I'm choosing to believe that muscle is heavier than fat, and that means that I might have lost some of the blubber and toned up some of the underneath layer!
The pains at the front of my shins have gone (yay!), and not every length of the swimming pool feels like it could be my last, so I'm definitely seeing progress.
I know that I must be doing OK - I'm averaging 50 lengths of the pool in 30 minutes (1.25 km) - and I'm starting to feel some muscle in my quads, so I'm just keeping smiling through the tough bits...
And reminding myself that I didn't get overweight & unfit overnight, so the solution won't happen overnight either.
I'm doing this to get back to feeling energetic, and I know that that means feeling worn out until it starts to "work", so till then:
Keep on keeping on!
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