Missing Dad...

I thought I was completely over my dad's death; it's been so long, and normally these days I can talk about him and his death without any distress - that was a LONG time coming.

But I had a dream last week: he was there, [in a three-piece suit, for some reason?] and didn't really look any older [which he should have been, given how long it is since I've seen him], but just a little thicker around the middle - not fat, but just not quite as slim as he was [and he was really trim].

I can't remember what we talked about, or even if we talked; I do remember the feeling of normality.

And obviously the renewed feelings of loss when I woke up and he was no longer there.

I believed I'd got over it completely, but it was as though I'd lost him all over again.

I was over it [again], and then I looked up on YouTube "Everything I Own" as it's being used for some TV advert...

[Not that I could tell you what they're trying to get me to buy; I am not an advertisers dream target!]

No problems until I read that it was a song written by David Gates for Bread as a tribute to his late father; listening to the lyrics (and knowing that) after not hearing the song for decades has just reduced me to a blubbing wreck again.

[Did I ever mention I sometimes use my blog(s) as therapy?]

That is so how I felt when he died: I would have given anything I owned (including my life, my heart, my home) just to have him back again, and that feeling came flooding back, so it's lucky for David that we don't have that option, isn't it?

I think I just have to count my blessings that I missed the Boy George version!